I sit and stare at my phone. As the text bubble animates the screen, my heart beat picks up speed. What if I said something wrong.. what will they think of me?
If you were to ask me when I started to fear rejection, I wouldn't know the answer. For as long as I can remember, the opinions of people have always seemed to subconsciously weigh on my shoulders & in the back of my mind.
Although I believe that people pleasing has always existed, I think it is so much more apparent today. Scrolling through social media and comparing your life's highlight reel with another, characterizing yourself a certain way in an interview, or trying to win over your significant other's family...I'm sure all of us have been in situations or seasons of life were we come face to face with the temptation to please people in order to make ourselves known in a good light.
If I'm being transparent, this is a dangerous area in which I struggle because a majority of the time, my people pleasing side isn't on my radar. I've found myself conforming to how others act, speak, or dress in order to feel accepted. And that is so destructive.
In past relationships, deep down I knew what I wanted and what was best for me -- everyone surrounding me tried to speak truth into my atmosphere, yet I fully decided to travel down the road of wanting to fit in for attention. Looking back, I ended up settling for things I knew I didn't want and rationalized each of my decisions. "This is how it's supposed to be."
Dependence is Deceiving
The world constantly tells us that we need to be the best we can be and to gain the approval of others. (...where is that in writing again??) Let me ask you this: When was the last time you went through your followers list on social media? Could you vividly describe a memory with each person? While it's a blessing to have relationships and success, dependence on those things can be a slippery slope -- to the point where if they were gone tomorrow, you would question everything.
The last month, I've come across many verses that speak about pleasing people and the conviction that it embodies. God's truth speaks through Paul in both of these verses.
Galatians 1:10 : Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
1 Thessalonians 2:4-6 : We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts. You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on a mask to cover up greed -- God is our witness. We were not looking for praise from people, not from you or anyone else, even though as apostles of Christ we could have asserted our authority.
To be a servant of Christ means to lay down your desires and focus your attention on Jesus every day, in every moment. To be honest, I fail to do this every day, but God gives me so much grace -- even when I choose to value what someone else thinks of me more than what God thinks of me.
I think it's absolutely inspiring to read the humble words of Paul (in literally any of his books, but especially this one). He wasn't afraid of what people thought of him as he went out and preached the gospel. During his life he was judged and persecuted for his faith, yet the only opinion and voice that mattered was that of Christ. I don't know about you, but I want to live a life like that!
Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people. - Ephesians 6:7