“Worry is a form of pride because it involves taking concerns upon oneself instead of entrusting them to God.” (ESV study Bible commentary)
My husband recently asked me what worries or stresses me out the most. My answer: when I feel unprepared. I like to know things ahead of time so I have wiggle room to mentally process for the good or the bad-case scenario. But when things go off the rails, I begin to spiral and don’t see things clearly for how they are. What is it for you? Is it the opinions of others and their approval over your work ethic or performance? Is it your income and the worry that comes with needing enough in the bank account to pay your bills for the month? Is it your family dynamic? All of the above?
It seems as if worry has always waited in the shadows, ready to appear whenever I feel hopeless. And instead of running to God and being reminded of His goodness in His Word, I freeze and let myself sit in the same room and proximity with worry - basically inviting it to give me the control and comfort I think I need.
Do you find yourself falling into the trap of worry over the smallest of things? The little inconveniences that will somehow blow up like a bomb and ruin your whole plan for your life.
Matthew 6:25-34 displays how worrying is unnecessary in our life as we live it for the Lord:
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Worry and anxiety are pride issues - and I feel like many of us can be blinded to seeing the reality of what it is. And I don't know about you, but this is conviction for me.
Imagine someone coming to you for advice on how to navigate a difficult situation or season. You pour your heart out and give your support. And the next minute you hear that after they came to you, they did the exact opposite of your advice. Too much sugar is bad for you, eat more vegetables! Yeah, you’re right… let me just eat a donut first. See, it doesn’t make any sense. And frankly, you are left feeling disrespected and untrusted. That’s how God feels when we consciously decide to worry rather than spending quality time listening for His direction and advice through His Word and in prayer.
One of the hardest times where I truly battled mentally with paralyzing anxiety was when I had gone through a season of unexplained, chronic pain. The ER visits, walk-in trips, physical therapy appointments, and medical bills added up and I’m sure each health practitioner who saw my records may have been convinced, this girl is a textbook hypochondriac!
I had a mysterious pain in my chest that lasted a total of six months. And within that half a year, my anxiety about the worst-case scenario kept growing and eating away in my mind - adding the bricks of the wall put up against God. Although it was a physical battle, the biggest hit of this situation dramatically targeted my mental and emotional well-being.
There were countless prayers I would plead with God. Jesus, deliver me from this. Please save me. In many ways, I felt like Peter who stepped off the boat when he witnessed Jesus walking on the water in Matthew 14:22-32:
Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, but the boat by this time was a long way from the land, beaten by the waves, for the wind was against them. And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, “It is a ghost!” and they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.”
And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
Similar to this passage and the distress Peter experienced, I knew God was faithful. I knew He had the power to bring me out of my trial and pain. I knew He was with me. But looking back, my trust was in myself - believing I needed to fix this problem myself. My pride was so dense, it was fogging up my vision and trust in God that He would make a way out of the situation. My trust was in the doctors, hoping and praying for a decent answer and reason for what was causing my pain. And embarrassingly enough, I put my trust in Web MD (side note: please, whatever you do, don’t look up your symptoms on the internet!)
Our emotions and feelings can be deceiving. And a lot of the time, they have this persuasive way of taking control over our thoughts and actions. The enemy knew I was struggling with my mental health during this season. And instead of fully trusting Jesus like how Peter witnessed Jesus walking on the water, I stepped out of the boat and allowed my doubt in His goodness to let me sink.
Romans 8:24-25 says, “For in [the hope of our salvation] we are saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes in what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.”
And in the darkest moments of that time of my life - feeling worried, confused, frustrated - I humbled myself before Jesus and confessed that I had not placed my hope in Him. Getting to that point of surrender is so much easier said than done. But as I look back to that low moment, I knew and felt God using the circumstances in my life to draw me closer to Him.
What are you placing your faith and hope in right now? Is it approval from others or answers when it feels like nothing is going right in your life? Whatever it may be, it is temporary. Only our hope and salvation in Jesus can save us and give us the strength we need each day.