Relying on the Lord

A few days I ago I was reminiscing about my time as a camp counselor two summers ago. And wow, how pivotal that experience was to my faith! I learned so much about myself, my sin, and just how vital it is to rely on the Lord with everything.

Half way through my freshman year of college, I caught myself freaking out about the future (per usual haha!) in my dorm room. I was newly immersing myself in a Christian community and learning how to discipline myself with seeking the Lord everyday. And in that crippling moment of doubt, I remember praying, God, I don't know what's in store. What am I going to do now? And from that prayer, I opened up my laptop, not knowing I would soon be scrolling through the website of a Bible camp that I used to go to with my youth group in high school.

All I can remember is the sight of an ending page that read, "Congratulations, your application to be a counselor has been submitted!" And my heart dropped (in a good way).

Long story short, God used my experience working with kids for the first time, to stretch me in ways I never knew I could be stretched. I found myself in tears many times, stuck in what seemed like eternal moments of belly laughter, thrown in a lake (5 times may I add), and in moments of complete awe of the Lord as I closed my eyes and listened to dozens of young voices praising Jesus.

As I returned home from a summer filled with so much joy and lessons I knew I would take with me for the rest of my life, I began to write a letter to my church's missions team; explaining what I learned as I served the Lord over the summer. I sat there and thought, where do I even begin?

In the letter I wrote,

I learned that taking on the role of a camp counselor requires so much love, compassion, energy, and leadership. And at times, it feels like there is nothing more to give to the campers because emotionally you run dry.

The first week of camp was the hardest for me. I was learning how to adjust to the environment of camp while being a leader for my cabin. And on top of that, I unexpectedly caught a cold. I remember praying when the week was starting to wrap up and I asked God to use me or a situation to reveal to me why He called me there.

I had nine girls in my second week cabin who had just finished third through fifth grade. I believe that was my most memorable week because I had one girl who came up to me and told me that after hearing my testimony, it sparked something inside of her again.

(Might I add that when I shared my testimony, a majority of the girls started to fall asleep, since it was after they were out in the sun for three hours! Needless to say, it was a little discouraging to me. I went to bed that night questioning everything -- was I making a difference in these girls' lives?)

She shared with me that she wanted to rededicate her life to Christ and I was so incredibly excited for her! We prayed together and afterwards I told her that she was an answered prayer for me as well.

As I reflect on my experience, I can't help but feel so overjoyed to know that God used, what I thought was a scary and doubtful situation, to glorify Him -- by using my story to bring someone back to Him.

In the end, one of the biggest lessons I learned was that, even when you feel like you have nothing more to give, the Lord will provide it -- all it takes is trust and an endless pursuit of Him.