Seasonal or Forever Friendships

When I think of the word "friendship" I think of the time I met my elementary school best friend, as if it was a flashback scene from a movie. It was a cold fall day and recess time on the playground at school. It seemed as if everyone had their person to play with...except me. Amidst the chaos of the swirly slides and climbing walls, there was a corner of the playground where two tetherball poles stood, tall and lonely. I saw a girl playing by herself and decided to walk over to her. She had long, dirty blonde hair, wore oval-shaped transition lensed glasses, and was bundled in a hot pink puffy coat.

"Hi, can I play with you?" To this day, I still have no idea why I decided to approach her, because I was notoriously shy. But I'm so glad I took that step out of my comfort zone, because that friendship would become something I would look back on forever.

Entering into the transition stage of adulthood, we braved jr. high and high school together. We suffered bad hair days, shared a passion for theatre, became boy crazy, and had a slight (or huge) obsession with the decade of the 60's -- I'm sure there are still highly cringe-worthy pictures and videos of us time capsuled on my parents' computer back home.

But as time passed by, we slowly grew apart as each of us started focusing on our individual interests and what our futures would look like. We started down our own separate paths as we walked across that stage on graduation day to receive our diplomas. A clean slate was put in front of us and in the back of my mind, I knew our friendship wouldn't be the same as it was before.

Seasons Change

I have always had a love-hate relationship with change. Whether it's going through seasons of loneliness or of rich community, each one can hold a significant purpose and lesson.

For the past four years, I've valued journaling -- spending time processing my thoughts and prayers by writing them down. And every so often, I crack open my old journals to reminisce of what God was teaching me at that particular moment in time: who I met, what trial was placed before me, or what funny/awkward story happened that day.

As I entered my freshman year of college, a significant part of my journal from that time included how thankful I felt as I met some of my best friends; ones I knew would be in my life forever. Looking back, I can't help but give credit to God for blessing me with those circumstances of meeting them. To this day, we are like sisters, and I've never experienced friendship like that in my whole 20 years of living. I guess it's true when people say, you'll meet some of your best friends in college.

Reading between the lines of my journal, I realized just how relevant the fear of making friends is. I vividly remember thinking, post graduation, what if I won't ever be enough?

I wrestled with that fear as I began to mentally and emotionally prepare myself to move away from my family and enter this terrifying thing called college. In high school, I struggled with wanting to prove myself to the people I called my friends. I believed that if I did this, or if I did that, my worth would be found through their affirmations; deep down I knew that whatever they said to me wouldn't fulfill me. I was placing my identify in what others thought of me, instead of how God saw me.

Even as I've grown in my faith over the years, I feel like I've constantly battled to believe the lies that blur my mindset, putting my identify in Christ on the back burner. The enemy wants me to fall short, and sometimes, I give in to the thought of needing to please people around me, even my closest of friends.

Speaking Truth

Godly friendships are so valuable because those people can be used to speak truth into your life: even the heard truth that you may not want to hear. I think it is so considerate and intentional to have the courage to say to someone you care for, hey are you seeing this situation clearly? Have you had the time to process this heartbreak? This is what the Bible says about that. Even though it can be terrifying to point something out to someone you love, it may be a blessing in the end. And I believe those kind of friendships last a lifetime, braving and embracing every season of life.