I vividly remember moving into my college dorm room freshman year. Anticipation and humidity filled the air as my parents and I pulled up next to the cement curb. We unloaded the small things first, trying to avoid hauling the big futon that was dysfunctionally packed in the back of my 2004 Ford Explorer. And with time, we realized that the futon should’ve been the first thing out of the car and in the room!
I remember turning my room key in it’s lock for the first time and thinking: “things are about to be a lot different”
A lot of people say that college can change you and/or will be the best years of your life...and while I agree with those sayings, I also think a big part of my college experience was how I was challenged to not only be a better student, friend, daughter, but a follower of Christ. While God has the power to use our free will for good in many ways, I honestly think that if I didn’t go to college, I wouldn’t be who I am now or if I would be as strong in my faith.
The last few weeks I’ve been reminiscing about the things college has taught me: the joyful times and the nights when it was so incredibly hard to keep moving forward. I’ve felt like I was on the top of the world and I’ve felt stuck. I cried my heaviest tears and I’ve laughed my hardest. And it’s absolutely insane to think that the chapter of my life I’ve held so dearly is soon coming to an end.
Right away, college brought me out of my shell. As a notoriously shy person in elementary and high school, I felt like college was my chance to have a fresh start (& yes, I know that sounds very very cliche..but it’s true!!). Within the first week of classes my freshman year, I auditioned for a show in the theatre department. And wow, that experience was unlike anything I had ever done (even though I was in high school theatre). To this day, I cringe at the fact that I literally walked into my audition wearing jeans, Nike tennis shoes, and a t-shirt while everyone around me looked spiffy with their suit and ties, formal dresses, and high heels. Not to mention, I held in my hand a very pathetic, flimsy piece of printer paper that claimed to be my monologue. And I don’t know how the heck I got the part!
I learned lessons and made memories sometimes the uncomfortable way. My sophomore year, I lived in a very sketchy apartment with two of my best friends. Although it was close to campus and I could pull off the, I-woke-up-10-minutes-before-my-9-am-class days (on a few occasions), the culture of our apartment was very foreign to me. Long story short, I witnessed lots of suspicious activity in our neighborhood, our downstairs neighbors moving out of their unit through only their window, watching and dealing with my roommates getting their cars stuck in our parking lot during the long winter months, and surviving the polar vortex.
That season of life was (ironically) by far my favorite year of college. Something was always happening and living with my best friends was such a blessing. I’ll never forget all of the deep talks in the hallway between our rooms, the laugh attacks, or sitting around our small dining room table, each with a big bag of chips and salsa, catching up on what happened that day.
God brought me some of the best, most selfless and genuine people in my life through college -- ones I know will forever be a part of my life.
And in the last 3 ½ years, romantic relationships were existent and (sometimes simultaneously...) not. Lol. I experienced heartbreak, the complete opposite, and confusion. I’d have to admit that God knew that the area of relationships would be something I would be the most stretched in, and wow, how He worked! Little did I know that once a pandemic would happen and I would randomly meet someone :)
But in that season and in every one, the ultimate lesson I keep learning is that no one will be able to satisfy my heart & soul like Jesus does. I’ve been reminded everyday that His grace and love abounds and overflows like living water - having the power to quench my thirst, compared to my own desires.
I learned to listen to the Lord with every decision I make. Even though I know it’ll always be hard, I’ve realized that humbling yourself and coming to the point of saying, “God, if this doesn’t glorify You, take it away” can be such a difficult yet freeing moment.
Choosing to listen to God in the spring of 2019 brought me to make one of the best decisions of my life -- committing to go and live on the Jersey Shore with Cru.
That experience undoubtedly changed my outlook on the gospel and sharing my faith with those around me. I learned how important it is to surround yourself with community and to take leaps of faith, even when it’s terrifying to face your fears. And because of that experience, I was able to travel across the world that fall and share about the most special gift I’ve received, my salvation.
God has shown himself in so many circumstances in the last few years and I feel so grateful to have experienced every one of them. Although this chapter is coming to a weird end with COVID-19 happening, I wouldn’t have wanted to change a thing, because with each season, comes new blessings. God works in and through everything, even if we don’t see it. All we have to do is trust.